RECESSION UPDATES

1. Ali Baba and the forty thieves are now Ali Baba and the thirty thieves. Ten were laid off.


2. Batman and Robin are now Batman and Pedro. Batman fired Robin.... and hired Pedro because Pedro was willing to work twice the hours at
the same rate


3. Iron man now "air-pooling" with Superman to save fuel costs.


4. Women finally marrying for love, and not money


5. Q: With the current market turmoil, what's the easiest way tomake a small fortune?


A: Start off with a large one.


6. The credit crunch is getting bad isn't it? I mean, I let my brother borrow $10 a couple of weeks back, it turns out I'm now America's third biggest lender.


7. Q: Why have Dubai real estate agents stopped looking out of the
window in the morning?


A: Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon.


8. Q: What's the difference between an American and a Zimbabwean?


A: In a few weeks, nothing.


9. Dow Jones is re-branded as "Down Jones".

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Installing Husband (Funny)

A desperate woman writes to the Technical support Guy:

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate Woman

She got a reply back from the Technical Support Guy.

DEAR DESPERATE Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: i thought you loved me. html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam!

Tech Support

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